I don't even know what to do anymore...I want to be with him...I want to be with him forever...I don't know what I'd do without him...But all of his shit is making my shit worse...I don't want to sound like I'm complaining...Because that's mean in his time of need. but I don't know what to do. In the last month I've seen him for about two and a half hours total...It's ridiculous...I love him so much. I would be nothing without him. But all of this stuff...I hate seeing him in pain...It kills me I can't do anything about it. He tried to runaway today...But his dad got to him before he got far. S I drove all the way to Woodstock and back...for a hug filled with tears from him...and that's it...I want to just cry...But I can't...I can't make myself cry...It bites...I want him to be okay...I don't want him to leave me...I had a dream that he left me...I woke up very sad...to the point of tears...but no water fell from my eyes. Will he ever be okay? I don't know who to talk to it about...There is no one....I just...Ah..Listen to "Save Us" and "Runaway" by Cartel...They're perfect.

Ah
Death to it all!
School is starting
And I'm scared
Nervous
Anxious
I don't even know
It bites though
So I...
Um...
Yeah...
You know
About 30 times...
I got really no relief out of it
But I want to do it again
That makes perfect sense
And I also took 12 antidepressants
Threw up three times
The day we left for vaction
And blamed it on food poisoning from Aeon
So I may not be allowed back there
But I got my lisense
So they can bite me
I keep fucking myself up
It's terrible
Ah
I can't stop
This sucks
I hate school
I'm hungry